Around two months ago whilst on a night out with some of my best friends, we went to a bar where live bands play. It was a Friday night, I was already pretty merry and we were having as usual the time of our lives. We danced to the band and did our usual stuff, then I get approached by a guy in a hat who tells me his band is next. He asked if I’d meet him after for a drink. Well I didn’t because we were all on a bar crawl and to be honest I really fancied the drummer, this guy just wasn’t someone I was all that bothered about. I bump into other friends and we end up joining in with his stag do, it was a messy night and I forgot about the guys in the band.
Monday morning I get a text from one of the girls who was out, this guy from the band had seen our pictures on the Facebook page and had asked if she could introduce us. I felt rude saying no since he appeared to have gone to a fair bit of effort, so we become Facebook friends and message a bit. We like the same music, both have jobs in the IT sector, I’m thinking well I could at least get to know him. We text for about 2 weeks or so, I’m busy and just don’t have time to meet him.
We finally get around to our first date, and it’s pretty well thought out, he takes me to the Christmas beer stand and we have mulled wine and chat, it’s pretty nice, although, I’m just not feeling sparks. He’s also a bit short… we’ve been here before, slightly younger than me and has no hair. Turns out his IT job isn’t technical at all, he’s just another pen pusher who is all talk. I’m not totally shutting him down yet, but neither am I all that bothered.
The date ends with a good night kiss, and that’s it for me, I’m not bothered by seeing him again. He texts a fair bit for a week and we arrange another date, we go for Tapas after the gym. Again it’s a lovely date but I’m just not feeling anything, and I’m not really putting any vibes out either. It turns out he doesn’t yet have a place of his own, he shares with his grown up stepson. His BMW appears to be all for show, I’m starting to see through this overcompensating guy. He’s insecure. We talk about bed room likes and dislikes, he seems compatible with what I want. Then he tells me that he always waits till at least the fifth date. I know that he’s bullshitting but I play along. I tell him I always like to sample the goods, I need someone who can satisfy me or I’m not sticking around. And this is actually very honest, why in the world would I settle for anything less?
He drops me back at mine, I ask if he wants to come in. He jumps at the chance, so in he comes. I coyly promise I won’t bite and anyway it’s not the fifth date, so this is purely to see where I live. He’s not a fan of my dogs, one is nearly bigger than him. He constantly comments that my house is huge (it really isn’t, however it’s not a flat like his). We end up having sex, shock horror and I’ll be honest, he really isn’t all that. He goes home and I shower and go to bed. He’s a nope from me. This is why it’s important to know before I get myself all emotionally invested, otherwise that would have been one hell of a let down!
I don’t hear from him for a week, and that’s perfectly fine, I actually hate the awkward conversations, this is easier. Plus there’s already someone else on the scene… not even a Tinder guy, ‘Long Lost’ has suddenly appeared out of nowhere and I’m hooked…
I get a text, Saturday morning… hi I’m sorry I’ve not been in touch, I didn’t feel any connection with you, so good luck with life and things, but if you want to hook up again the let me know. Busted Mr Fifth Date bullshit! Obviously I block him and never respond. Leave him to stew in his own thoughts… This guy was just another one who’s inferior and knew it. He was all show. The fact that he paid for his share of the food with his company card and asked for a receipt so he could claim back the VAT said it all! Cheapskate! If you’re really as rolling in it as you make out you wouldn’t be living in a flat with your stepson… you wouldn’t be claiming back VAT on a date. The moral of the story, if you didn’t find him attractive when you were drunk… our standards always lower let’s face it, then he’s definitely never going to be for you when you’re sober!
Some guys like the thrill of the chase with someone out of their league, but once they think they’ve caught her realise they have no chance of keeping her… the guy I’m going to stick with won’t feel the need to impress me, he’ll just be himself. You can be a short arsed wanna be with a BMW all you like but it means nothing if you can’t live up to the facade you create…