Brewhouse Band Guy

Around two months ago whilst on a night out with some of my best friends, we went to a bar where live bands play. It was a Friday night, I was already pretty merry and we were having as usual the time of our lives. We danced to the band and did our usual stuff, then I get approached by a guy in a hat who tells me his band is next. He asked if I’d meet him after for a drink. Well I didn’t because we were all on a bar crawl and to be honest I really fancied the drummer, this guy just wasn’t someone I was all that bothered about. I bump into other friends and we end up joining in with his stag do, it was a messy night and I forgot about the guys in the band.

Monday morning I get a text from one of the girls who was out, this guy from the band had seen our pictures on the Facebook page and had asked if she could introduce us. I felt rude saying no since he appeared to have gone to a fair bit of effort, so we become Facebook friends and message a bit. We like the same music, both have jobs in the IT sector, I’m thinking well I could at least get to know him. We text for about 2 weeks or so, I’m busy and just don’t have time to meet him.

We finally get around to our first date, and it’s pretty well thought out, he takes me to the Christmas beer stand and we have mulled wine and chat, it’s pretty nice, although, I’m just not feeling sparks. He’s also a bit short… we’ve been here before, slightly younger than me and has no hair. Turns out his IT job isn’t technical at all, he’s just another pen pusher who is all talk. I’m not totally shutting him down yet, but neither am I all that bothered.

The date ends with a good night kiss, and that’s it for me, I’m not bothered by seeing him again. He texts a fair bit for a week and we arrange another date, we go for Tapas after the gym. Again it’s a lovely date but I’m just not feeling anything, and I’m not really putting any vibes out either. It turns out he doesn’t yet have a place of his own, he shares with his grown up stepson. His BMW appears to be all for show, I’m starting to see through this overcompensating guy. He’s insecure. We talk about bed room likes and dislikes, he seems compatible with what I want. Then he tells me that he always waits till at least the fifth date. I know that he’s bullshitting but I play along. I tell him I always like to sample the goods, I need someone who can satisfy me or I’m not sticking around. And this is actually very honest, why in the world would I settle for anything less?

He drops me back at mine, I ask if he wants to come in. He jumps at the chance, so in he comes. I coyly promise I won’t bite and anyway it’s not the fifth date, so this is purely to see where I live. He’s not a fan of my dogs, one is nearly bigger than him. He constantly comments that my house is huge (it really isn’t, however it’s not a flat like his). We end up having sex, shock horror and I’ll be honest, he really isn’t all that. He goes home and I shower and go to bed. He’s a nope from me. This is why it’s important to know before I get myself all emotionally invested, otherwise that would have been one hell of a let down!

I don’t hear from him for a week, and that’s perfectly fine, I actually hate the awkward conversations, this is easier. Plus there’s already someone else on the scene… not even a Tinder guy, ‘Long Lost’ has suddenly appeared out of nowhere and I’m hooked…

I get a text, Saturday morning… hi I’m sorry I’ve not been in touch, I didn’t feel any connection with you, so good luck with life and things, but if you want to hook up again the let me know. Busted Mr Fifth Date bullshit! Obviously I block him and never respond. Leave him to stew in his own thoughts… This guy was just another one who’s inferior and knew it. He was all show. The fact that he paid for his share of the food with his company card and asked for a receipt so he could claim back the VAT said it all! Cheapskate! If you’re really as rolling in it as you make out you wouldn’t be living in a flat with your stepson… you wouldn’t be claiming back VAT on a date. The moral of the story, if you didn’t find him attractive when you were drunk… our standards always lower let’s face it, then he’s definitely never going to be for you when you’re sober!

Some guys like the thrill of the chase with someone out of their league, but once they think they’ve caught her realise they have no chance of keeping her… the guy I’m going to stick with won’t feel the need to impress me, he’ll just be himself. You can be a short arsed wanna be with a BMW all you like but it means nothing if you can’t live up to the facade you create…

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Niceness overload

You ever get a hunch and know you’re right but then think that perhaps you’re being mean so you give a guy a chance? So I matched with a guy on Bumble, a student living here studying his masters. The messages were mushy, and just a bit much for me, so I cancelled the date. End of. Story done. No… he pops up again a month later, saying he’d waited, I felt bad, so on the spur of the moment agreed fine we’ll go on a date.

Initially he seemed sweet, was good looking and quite gentlemanly, we seemed to have similar music taste and he seemed to like my sarcasm. I wasn’t really all that sure but well I realised I’ve been very picky lately. Perhaps too picky? I dunno, perhaps I wasn’t ready for this, but he was very persuasive about a second date. And after a night of passion, well it seemed like it would be okay and hey so had nothing better to do.

Date night approaches, I’m feeling tired, to be honest I’m not that bothered but I already feel bad for this guy who is seemingly so attentive so I turn up. I’m driving, I don’t want to drink and it’s cold anyway. As I arrive he runs to my door to open it… really uncool. I’m so unhappy about being treated like I’m helpless! We go into the place and again he’s fussing over tables and chairs and my coat, I tell him straight I don’t want this. I can look after myself. He laughs and says he’s not used to European girls, that Latin Americans are more needy. I reassure him I’m very not needy in any way whatsoever so he can stop!

We order food and he won’t let me pay my way, my heckles are already up! I’m not sure how much more I can take because I just won’t be bought, or owned or well anything. I’m not ready for anything I’ve decided already, not with anyone yet alone him and yet this guy appears to think we’re together!

Food arrives and he fusses over napkins, stupid stuff, I just cannot take any more of this, there’s only so much polite I can be and my face aches from fake smiling. I think I’m done. I excuse myself to go and vape. I don’t really need to but god I need to get away from the pressure of him. I get back and he says he missed me, I just can’t reciprocate, there is nothing. I just want to go home.

It’s the end of the date and I excuse myself to go home. He insists on walking me to my car and attempts to open the door, it makes me so angry. I’m not going to see him again, I’d decided this probably about an hour before. I just can’t deal with this level of overly nice mollycoddling. See I’m a woman, a very independent do my own shit kinda girl. I don’t need help to do simple things. I don’t need a guy to open my door, male patronising comments when I did something clever, I live my life in my own right and I’ve earned it.

I guess the culture differences were too much? Or this guy was just a creep I don’t know! But I’d actually rather have a best friend than a knight in shining armour anyway. So this dickhead in tinfoil won’t seem me for dust. Today’s messages got ignored, I’m too over it to even read them. It just makes me wonder how men can get this stuff so wrong. Or is it not normal to want to do things for yourself? The barrage of messages about, I understand you’re your own woman, I’m here for you etc. Are just the empty words of the guy who wants control, a little woman who fits in a box… there isn’t a box big enough sorry… it’s impressive how empty nice can inspire almost a feeling of hate, because I’m aware that his intentions threaten my happy existence and I’m not yielding to that. Time to concentrate on work I think, its mentally stimulating and a lot more interesting… if it smells like controlling, it acts like controlling all covered sugar, it’s definitely controlling… no thanks!

Out of Control

We read a lot online now about controlling relationships, what they are, how to get out of them and how to recover. It’s finally coming to light properly that domestic abuse isn’t just beating someone up…. and this goes for both sexes, I’ve seen women who are as controlling as men. But here’s my story of how I’ve recognised this behaviour recently and managed to have some lucky escapes. Perhaps it’s this experience that really makes me consider whether I ever want to be committed to anyone again, and the idea of living together again is still a big no.

One of the first experiences I had after the relationship with my daughter’s dad was this guy (Sad Mechanic) who at first seemed charming. He would treat me like a princess (this I now know is controlling in itself) and make me feel special. However there was always a flip side. He was insecure, and his insecurities led to strange behaviour, accusations I was cheating, or just hot/cold behaviour. He’d asked about how many people I’d been with and I’d been honest, he hit the roof. Called me every name under the sun, I hadn’t fully got better at that point and thought perhaps I was in the wrong. Although looking back I should have kicked him out at that point.

This guy had no understanding of my past. He would for his own entertainment wind me up about how great a life my ex was having now he was gone. Luckily I’d had my first round of therapy to deal with the anger so it was all out and done, I was able to tell him to shut up, I didn’t want to know. But imagine if I hadn’t had therapy at that point? With a history of suicidal thoughts, this really could have done a lot of damage.

He would try and force his political views on me and also be weary of me going out with my friends… in case I got raped… although really he was just worried I’d find someone better. This guy, knowing my past tried to keep me in a box where he knew where I was because he wanted control. Please bear in mind we never lived together. My daughter had talked about getting a cat, I wasn’t sure… but after the death of a dog was getting a dog to keep my other one company. This guy had actually had the nerve to tell me he’d leave me if I got a cat once! And then when I got my new puppy had sulked for a week, he had actually said “it’s me or the dog” when I told him I was getting one! The relationship didn’t last long after that, it was the first time I’d actually had to end it on my terms and I felt terrible, but it was the best decision I’d ever made.

His controlling behaviour had started to make me paranoid. One thing I’ll never forget, I’d got tickets to a large company party and had invited him, but he couldn’t go, so I went with my friends and had the best time! It was fancy dress and we had an absolute ball! I had been telling him about it, and he had the nerve to say “you were seen leaving with a man”… this wasn’t true… well I left with a group of men and women… my friends… but not how he’d insinuated. After a bit of an awkward conversation where I felt I had to prove my innocence he admitted he’d made it up and was testing me. What a psycho! Glad he went!

The other big controlling one again started off nice, the guy with the “I did a walk against domestic violence T-shirt” was the Stand in. This was the guy who should have been a one night stand but told me he expected a relationship. This is all very well but he gave me no time to adjust to the idea of one and no space to even think if I actually wanted one. Every moment of my free time got eaten up by this guy. If he was in my office, we had to go to lunch… my gym routine slipped. I’d complain I needed to work out, he’d say he wanted me to have a bigger butt. I was so unhappy about it, I’d finally got my body to a place I was happy and this guy was trying to dictate I should put weight on!

He’d insist on cooking. Again this was actually quite passive aggressive in his approach. He’d insist on picking the food. Now my relationship with food isn’t the best, I go for simple, low carb fuel, I’m not in any way a foodie, I will happily eat the same thing daily as I know I’m getting what I need to stay healthy. After all the ups and downs of diets, gym regimes and making myself ill I’ve broken that bad relationship with it and stick to what works for me. Yet, here is this guy undoing all the hard work I had to put in to break that!

He would insist my daughter wore a coat, she would of course do the opposite. I could see it was damaging, hence he had to go. This guy’s uprightness about everything, rules, things having to be in terms he saw as the right ones made me and my daughter to an extent more uptight. I’d been happy at first, it had felt like someone who actually cared, but in reality this was just a guy who used care to control. There are so many examples of this that I won’t put here.

Perhaps I’m just like that rescue animal that struggles to trust again. Some people think I’m mad to want to stay single. But I can honestly say when I’m not reliant on anyone, when I’m not compromising my happiness that I am of course happier. I see friends desperate to find “the one” and I understand that, having that special relationship can be nice. Having children with someone you love can feel like you’ve won the lottery. But the biggest worry for me is that I’m never sure it’s real. Domestic bliss has its place for some, and that’s absolutely okay if it makes you happy. But domestic bliss for me sounds like actually just allowing someone else to have control, and I’m not really sure that can ever be bliss. There’s a guy right now who has chased me for about 2 years for a date, but I know already that he’s just more of the same. I know already that he will want me to change, he’ll want me to pool my free time and do couple things. I’m not sure I want “couple” things. If someone’s brain isn’t going to engage mine the couple things will just be the same old drudge once the novelty of a new person wears off and I’m not built for that. Is this an introvert problem? Perhaps. I wonder actually if it’s an extrovert problem, as in not mine. I can happily now go a while without human contact and feel great. In fact, I need that time. These guys so desperately seeking the other half can’t do that and I can understand. Everything has to be filled up so they don’t feel the gap and have to do thinking. I’m quite happy here thinking and enjoying being out of control… what does out of control mean? Well just that, no-one is controlling my thoughts and my actions. It is my responsibility what I do, how I behave and I’ll deal with the consequences and reap the rewards. Out of control is actually great, it’s the thing that those in authority shudder at the thought of, because if they can’t control you, you are therefore unpredictable and they have no rules for dealing with that. Out of control is what every human should be, it doesn’t mean you have to party 24/7 or drive your car 100MPH up the wrong side of the motorway, but if you wanted to you could, the consequences are yours…

Stone Henge

I met a guy, a friendly BT Engineer, yes yet another Tinder Date… well not sure if this can be defined as a date, perhaps this fits exactly into the Netflix and Chill Category. His photos, super fit, nice smile… seemed nice, good banter. Well why would I not meet this guy? It transfers to text message… thank god for that… hate WhatsApp stalkers… yes I’m online and no I’m not replying to you right now… there could be a myriad of reasons, I’m dealing with childcare stuff, chatting to my friends, talking to other guys, so what… chill! Anyhow I digress…

So nice smile BT guy and I have some gutter talk aver text, no phone calls… good… I don’t like speaking to people at the moment, they’re hassle. He seems nice, funny, blah blah so we arrange for him to come over… for well you know… a girl witch has gotta get her quota of souls to stay young some how…

I’m excited-ish, his additional photos seemed promising. His promises, well if he lived to to all of those I was gonna be doing less Netflix. Good start.

So he drives over to see me, I get a knock at the door expecting a well built Valley’s guy… well… yes he’s in proportion and yes he’s well built but, have you ever seen the film Spinal Tap? If you haven’t you should. Remember the scene where they give the drawing of stone henge over to the set designer on A4 paper but the set designer doesn’t get that it’s not to scale and well the result is the end of the blockbuster gig becoming a comedic anticlimax of a 2 foot tall monument with bigger “little people” dancing round it? Yeah…. So well built perfectly in proportion nice smile Guy is well fun sized… I was not prepared for fun sized… I didn’t close the door in his face, well he’d driven a bit of a way, I though well to hell with it, a soul is a soul, fun sized or not. At least this one didn’t seem to have short man syndrome!

So we go upstairs, get busy, to be fair proportionality has failed in some places thank goodness! He doesn’t live up to his promises… and to be honest his twittering on about crap is starting to do my head in. He asks me if I’m a geek, I explain I’m an Uber Geek, his idea of geeky is people who like batman! Oh my dear… there is so much more to being a geek than Batman! I like Metal, he likes Rap… when I get enthusiastic about Anthrax and Body Count together he says “Oh no, I only like Eminem”… oh dear! This is a one time and one time only Netflix and Chill event for me at this point!

I put on my favourite Cartoons, starting with Rick n Morty, moving to Bojack, he doesn’t seem to get it. He isn’t a geek at all! Sweet though he is, Stone Henge isn’t for me. He laughs that the TV in my bedroom is small… I think well your TV is in your mother’s house. And I laugh at the fact he’s never coming back.

He has to head off (thank goodness because his incessant wittering is annoying me) he’s got to be up early for work. I say my goodbyes and off he goes.

I’m not sure if he thinks we’re in a relationship now… now most 28 year old guys don’t want to be and that makes them safe to mess with. He already keeps texting that he misses me… puke… after a few hours I text back oh sorry I’ve been busy, hope your day way okay… I think I’ll leave him calm down a few days… can’t be dealing with feelings and shit!

…Stonehenge! Where the demons dwell

Where the banshees live and they do live well

Stonehenge! Where a man’s a man

And the children dance to the Pipes of Pan..

Foot Guy

So I matched with a guy that seemed kinda fit. He was Scottish, a scientist but also very well built. Living in a city across the boarder I thought best have a chat before meeting, don’t want to waste anyone’s time… so he asks for my number I give it and hear nothing more. No big worry, I’m not interested in chasing, if he doesn’t bother that says it all I thought.

A couple of days later I get this text, apologising he hasn’t seen my message. I text back hi and go to the cinema with my friend and think nothing more of it. I get out of the cinema and there’s a voice recording message on WhatsApp from him. Kinda bumbly, but he has a nice voice and a pretty sexy accent. So I message back thanks. He asks to hear my voice but wants a recording…. weird… okay I think, so I record a message which is half of me telling my dog to get down and leave it at that. I expect no reply and forget about it. Then I get a call, okay, so he seems keen, we have a chat about stuff and things, he seems nice if not a little domineering but I’m willing to give him a chance.

He then sends through a ton of selfies, he seems a little self obsessed. I give him the benefit of the doubt, the dating world is strange and say thanks again, I reply with one picture.

He wants to face time, okay I say, well at least that way you can get half an idea of what someone’s like. We start to talk and oh my goodness I wanna get off!!!! Here’s how it went. He starts shooting hypothetical questions about “what is and what isn’t cheating”. Just sounds controlling, he effectively wouldn’t want me to talk to other guys. He asks how tall I am, he’s 6”2’ and I’m only 5”3’, he exclaims I’m perfect to be his princess?!? I explain I’m not a princess, sweet though that is but I’m a queen and expect to be treated that way, I have no need for a man to treat me in such a derogatory fashion. He’s not impressed and calls me a feminist. I tell him I don’t care. What I didn’t realise was he was naked and playing with himself, he flips the screen to show his dick, it’s small, no shock there… I’m like…. “errrr thanks, well that looks nice” trying to sound sincere. We have sexy talk, to be honest to get the creep off the phone. He tells me he can have any woman he wants, I’d have to get used to other women throwing themselves him and deal with it. After all the cheating talk, I spy a hypocrite amount the masses! This guy is so far up his own arse it’s unbelievable. He makes various comments about behaviour he expects such as cooking him food, I explain I won’t cook him food. So now we know what the guy is single, he’s a pig, a fairly well packaged small dicked pig! Who to be honest at 34 years of age was balding. Nope!

So we’re hanging up, he asks me what size my feet are, I say size 4, he gets very excited and starts describing his favourite type of feet. I know everyone has a fetish of sorts and feet, fine but this guy was just beyond creepy. Although my feet hurt so much if he hadn’t have been such an arsehole perhaps I would have let him come and rub my feet lol!

We hang up and the last message I get is a request for a picture of my feet. I’m now weak with laughter at what a fucked up hour of my life just happened that I won’t be getting back! I text back I’m not going to meet him and good luck and then block his number. I hope for the safety of women kind he buys a small footed blow up doll because that guy was scary!

With all the women in the world throwing themselves at him though, I doubt he’ll have a problem finding a princess…. wow…

Alone isn’t lonely

So Tinder is back on and I’ll be honest I’m at the point of hitting delete already! What has this week taught me? That you really are better off just being yourself and really not worrying about finding someone right now. Okay so my date yesterday went well. He’s nice, I might just see him again. His life, considerably more complicated than mine right now… he’s separated but they still live in the same place with their small children having decided to actually call it a day on their relationship 2 years ago. His head is in the right place, so that’s good. Was he everything I want? I’m not really sure. I’m just gonna see where it all goes. But I’ve got time and I’m in no rush, there’s no urgency for either of us, so that’s okay.

The trouble with Tinder or any other site for that matter is you have to meet a few scary people before you get to a good one. So this week we have a new stalker. Initially this guy seemed nice, honest, all the right words, he seemed sorted. His girlfriend has split up with him when his small daughter came back into his life. I felt bad for him, I decided to get to know him a little. That’s where I made the mistake of deciding to swap numbers. Again messages were normal, sweet, he seemed grounded.

We talked on the phone and I’ll be honest we wasn’t what I expected, he was starting to sound clingy. Warning signs were all there. I decided I probably wouldn’t meet him after all. He let slip about smoking weed, instantly I’m just not interested any more. I don’t want to be babysitting some guy who cannot cope with life to the point he needs to knock himself out every night with drugs, which was how it was starting to sound. So I left it at that. The weekend he’s plagued me with messages, “where are you?”, “why are you not replying?” And oh god here we go… true colours appear to have just shone through. Now I get it, I have been there, when you are so insecure you believe the world is getting one over on you. But I’m not in the market for having to prove that I’m trustworthy when I do decide to be in a relationship. This guy clearly cannot curb his suspicions around people and is way too full on! We haven’t even met yet and in his head we are somehow in a relationship. I’ve made myself very clear. I’m busy, I will not be controlled and I’m not falling for guilt trips.

The me of a few years back would have yielded, would have dropped down to his level and allowed myself to be controlled, would have been insulted and have tried to prove my trustworthiness. But I’m not that girl anymore. I’ve realised that I’m stronger on my own. I’ve realised I don’t have to prove anything. I’ve realised that if someone doesn’t like it then they really can just do one, because I’m not responsible for this guy’s past hurt and I refuse to take it on.

I don’t need needy snapchat guys… I now appear to have a few, I don’t care how suspicious it might look if I log into WhatsApp to read a message and don’t read theirs. I just don’t care what these people think. Because the right guy just won’t be that desperate, the right guy will have his own shit to do just like I have mine.

This week is a me week. Nobody is getting any of my precious time, apart from my daughter of course. The good news is the book is starting to happen properly. Taking the time to write is therapeutic. Watching TV on my own means nobody interrupts me. Our society teaches us that in order to be successful in life we must not be alone. Society has this all so very wrong. When we remove that pressure of keeping up appearances to conform to an unwritten rule of convention, we’re suddenly free and life is good. When people ask me “how in the hell are you single?” I don’t take it as an insult that I am, I see it that I’ve got to the realisation that together isn’t necessarily always better, together might just be the thing that kills you.

When you get over the idea that alone means lonely, you start to realise that you only want people who enhance your life in it. Walking away is the easiest thing in the world because you’re free. I’m not here to rescue anybody. When I needed help I rescued myself. People generally are only scared to be alone because they don’t know the person that lives inside. They only know the superficial person who lives in the space that they fill when interacting with others. But life is richer once you get to know who you really are, and once you do you can never go back to the way it was before…

Playing with matches

So I’m back trying Tinder again. I have a date tonight. I have mixed feelings. It’s funny when you go on the site where you met all your ex’s and see that, well you deleted your account when you were seeing them but low and behold they’re still there, same profile same stuff. That about proves the point for me I guess. These guys look for a relationship but when they find the potential for one they run away screaming and go back into the dating pool for some other poor girl to meet.

Or perhaps just their true intentions never matched their words. They like to have a girl who will be devoted but don’t want to give the same back. So within the first few swipes four of my previous guy’s came up. Each had demonstrated commitment issues in their behaviour. It’s funny how you view the profile you initially read the first time and think “Yeah but I know the real story”. I’m a lot more cut throat I guess these days, the mere suggestion that they want to just mess around and I unmatch. I’d rather not put myself through that again.

So the guy I’m meeting tonight is my age. He has children, he’s divorced. I really hope he’s over it and not going to still be in that stage of hurt that so many divorcees are. I’m not here to be a parent to someone’s grown up son, I’m here to be an equal in a relationship with someone who can actually do that.

Having heard nothing since from the one who made me forget, I’m feeling quite happy go lucky. I’m not in a rush to do the settling down thing, I just don’t want all my time eaten up by a guy who needs to be in my presence constantly, neither do I want to be ignored. I’m looking for balance and the right guy will want that too. Material things don’t really bother me but basic ability to live life as an adult does.

So this guy is an animator, he seems pretty creative and like he may have a similar sense of humour to me. Some of me is relived that he already has children, the pressure to do that again won’t be there hopefully. I’m very happy just not having any more, I guess I’ve been there and done that. We’ll see as time goes how I feel about that though, it’s a pretty fluid feeling.

You have to start to wonder, perhaps the dating app is the downfall in itself. It proves that there are lots of choices out there. We’re all scared to make the wrong choice again and in being that way we distance ourselves from the potential that the new person can bring to your life. It’s the new version of the person who already has someone going out and playing the field but the whole field is visible and therefore more tempting.

I had a dream last night that on my way home from this up and coming date as the guy kissed me, my ex and his fiancé walked past laughing. The feeling was embarrassment, at them seeing me trying to make something work when they seemingly have it already so sorted. I have to admit, I do often feel a little judged by people who haven’t been through this situation. They assume online dating is just a great big sex party. And when you’re not in the frame of mind to be in a relationship it can be. But actually once you weed through the mommies boys, the commitment-a-phobes and the guys who are there just to boost their ego, you can find someone who’s in the same place as you mentally. It just takes a little longer sometimes.

There is nothing wrong with you if you know what you want. It’s better to be that way than waste the time of everyone you meet. Everyone who tells you “I’m not that kind of person” is not telling you the truth when it comes to one night stands, because with the wrong person we all are. It’s just the way it is, the crux being that we are all driven by a need for sex, if it goes a certain amount of time we look for it. That is just human biology, and anyone telling you otherwise is hiding their true self. I guess the best thing to do is admit it, get it out of your system so that when the person who could be right for you is there, you are ready to actually consider the whole relationship thing and do it properly.

That way no one gets hurt. So we’ll see what this guy is like, I’ve got some hopes, and some reservations because I’ve been disappointed before when I’ve decided that I’m going to meet the “right one” this time.

I’m a woman who’s majority friendship groups are men, this puts an insecure guy off. I play the boys at their own games and they don’t like it. So today feels like an open book. If the previous guy ever comes back I’m not sure what I’ll do, there was a connection for both of us but he was too cowardly to deal with it when I gave him what he asked for. Perhaps I’ll be more cautious this time. But these guys have to realise that there’s a fire built ready to be lit, it they light the fire then it will start to burn. You pour petrol on it to speed it up it will either burn out quickly or burn down the house. If you can’t handle the fire, don’t light it, step away, even grown man children shouldn’t play with matches.