Mercenary Witch

Today was the day when the sheer magnitude of the tasks in hand hit home! Less than four weeks in, okay this always happens and I’ve been hired for a reason, I’ve been here before, but I started to wonder if I had perhaps just a little bit over estimated my ability and perhaps for a little while wondered if I had perhaps bitten off more than I could chew. Okay so we all get this at some point, well I get this a lot! There was a moment of make or break in my little head this morning where the angel on my shoulder said “just lay down and roll over” and the devil on the left said “At it girl go slay!” Slapping me on the proverbial and giving me a boost. I thought about the easy job at the government agency for a day rate I’d turned down a few weeks back and questioned my sanity, then remembered that I am a little nuts so this was the right choice.

So the girl who’s never done this before at this level of difficulty, with this level of nothing to work with, and this level of “shit fix it quick” stood and she stood and she kept on standing till every last arrow had been fired, every last bullet ran out and all the cavalry had been slayed or retreated. She shook off her armour, fixed her hair, wiped off the blood and put her sword back in its sheath. She will live to see another battle…

Today’s battle was all in her head, a battle of confidence in her own ability to do the things she’s gonna have to get done. She realised she really isn’t alone, although she felt alone perhaps, everyone here is in the same boat, we’re building from the ground up, we have the ability to shape and mould and create and the world is our oyster if we just work together. The tricky part is often people don’t know what she does, or what she’s there for, they just know the reputation of the sparky red haired witch who fights battle after battle and never gives up. She’s got a lot to live up to, they expect her to answer the questions, their problems. Some view her with suspicion, she’s going to change what they do… well maybe in the long game… but not for a while. The winning of the hearts and the minds is easy for some but impossible with others and it’s the impossible ones that she needs to win over. They’re only a handful but still they exist.

So the crisis of confidence fought, the realisation that they’re all just as scared and if she can just get them to work together the problem will shrink. But where does she start? Where does she begin? Well she’s just gonna take it little by little. No big reveals just yet though it’s tempting, big reveals are a part of her nature, long game, long game, you have to play the long game, there’s no magic spell that can fix this by nightfall, no magic in the world that will do it by the full moon, the half moon or even the new one. The long game she’s in and the long game she’ll do, for the little red witch doesn’t quit doesn’t fail, doesn’t flee doesn’t run. If she has to die inside so she will and respawn for the next day, the next day until… Until she has done it, that’s the day she lies down and takes a deep breath and then starts on her mission to find the next war. Mercenary witch, that’s what you are, stand in battle, cut the right throats, serve the right general and win the right Wars. Mercenary witch, play the long game, for it will all be worth while in the end, you will see…

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