Email Testosterone

The extrovert got broken again by the people and it made her realise she wasn’t such an extrovert after all. Today isn’t dark thoughts just the annoyance of the invasion of mind space with unwanted thoughts that don’t matter to her. Today began with coffee, her own space, her thoughts, her wish to be free, and the impending doom of the office she’s leaving behind soon. It’s not that she doesn’t care, more that she’s now powerless to steer the veering ship and wishes to let go of the wheel now and ride away on a jet ski into the coming waves to find her fate.

Today started in the office with a trail of emails fuelled by the testosterone of male colleagues all fighting for the one-up-manship after a request for resource that was an optional at best. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. She made the mistake of taking advice, of speaking to management of getting their opinion about buy in for the new thing that would affect their people,the double edged sword of tell them now and they don’t have the time or tell them later and she kept it a secret, the witch who tells us how to do our jobs when it’s perfectly okay as we’ve done it before, it’s perfectly okay with the good old thing, we don’t need the new, just butt out redhead. But the redheaded witch is here to bring the new, the kicking and screaming and moaning will all be in the past if they could only just see what the new has to offer. But easy isn’t what they want when easy means change or different or other ways or not what we’re used to.

Exhausted already the witch made amends, she spoke and charmed and reassured, she wrote up the failed experiment that just couldn’t happen, she wrote up the steps that had failed in her lab, in her sandbox, in the offsite lab, the conclusions of experts that it just doesn’t work. She gave them more options, but they were reluctant to look, for the witch has tricks, the witch isn’t one of us, she’s different she doesn’t know what we do, but she does. The witch learns quickly, she sees their motives, their work, she sums up the drama in words that are few, she cuts through the bullshit for the wool can’t be pulled. And that is her strength, she seeks to understand.

So the email warriors too busy to think, the email testosterone too proud to step back had a fight, they drew swords and she distilled their anger with hope of solutions, please let it pay off! The theory is there and the practice is promising but the manpower is lacking and she needs them onside. But she knows that she still learns the lessons regardless, she sees it in action she sees how it works, she leaves the men to their swords and their dramas and battles and casts but a spell from behind the mist that most will not see and she prays for success.

Sometimes she wishes she could spend her days in solitary confinement, alone with her thoughts, free to explore the fruits of her imagination without shackles and rules and people to please. Perhaps one day she’ll just get that wish. Who knows but she’s done with the explaining, the need to justify every last detail. Sometimes they just don’t need to know everything, sometimes they just need to trust what she says. If they gave her the chance just to prove that she knows they would get it much faster with less drama. Perhaps that’s the issue, the bored mind makes trouble, the idle mind sticks it’s nose in, the tired mind makes mistakes and the mind that is closed just will not see what is put before him to make his life better, he only fears change.

The red headed witch feels the toll of her task, the solution is easy, but the people are not…

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