Isn’t it funny when you get that feeling of dread in your stomach that something’s not quite right? So, I’ve been seeing the one who makes me forget for a month now and his text replies are sporadic, he’s already warned me, and to be honest that’s okay… normally… but today, it isn’t. Silly isn’t it?
I guess this is half the problem with today’s dating world, I have no idea what rules anyone is playing by. Some people want commitment straight off the bat, some people assume it’s there so say nothing, others assume it’s not and say nothing, then the rest, you know how it goes. So today I’m in the limbo of, where the heck are we? We’ve kinda had conversations about, can you be good… blah blah… to me that insinuates exclusive, but does it?
Apparently according to the dating blogs, you have to make a man chase you, but I’m really not into that. Apparently the girl should never chase, that’s how to loose a man in sixty seconds, so what the hell do you do when you like a guy, need a bit of reassurance but don’t want to hound him? What ever happened to being able to say it like it is?
The last time I saw him, we had a great night. Neither of us are used to sleeping in a bed with someone else so actually sleeping next to each other was strange. But waking up next to him was lovely.
When I left he was sweet. Oh dear! I have got myself in a mess, I know what I’m doing, I’m overthinking again, and when I do that my imagination goes into overdrive!
I’ve managed to be a bit distracted at least tonight, I did a Tarot for a lady who needed some help. I do every now and again for practice and I love it. I think it really helped her and if the advice of the cards is followed she’s going to be happy. Now I know myself that’s easier said than done… I get readings all the time, I follow the advice until I start to worry again.
I think as my intuition is heightened tonight I’ll do my own reading. My last reading in this guy told me he’s in the process of sorting out his life, but he will do and if he takes things slow not to worry, he definitely is getting feelings too but isn’t going to tell me just yet. I guess we’ll see. It’s hard to tell with an online Tarot reader who is and isn’t genuine, so I do mine live. I want the person to see what I’m seeing and that there’s no trickery here.
My intuition is also telling me to stop worrying. I know in days of darkness, like the last few my inner voice can take over and push my intuition off centre. So I wonder if that’s what’s happened here.
There’s actually no change in behaviour from him, he’s not doing anything different, it’s all me, in my head. It’s different to last time when I really was actually being ignored, I think.
I’m going to take the high of helping someone and put the energy into writing tonight. The book has been a little neglected, perhaps that’s what’s actually getting in the way. I’ve been given advice that I need to learn to do my own thing, and I normally do. So, no more dwelling. What will be will be. If he doesn’t ever text back, well that’s okay, that’s on him. The universe has a funny way of presenting life lessons sometimes, and every now and again it will repeat until you’ve learnt it properly. Perhaps that’s what I need to do. Learn this lesson. I cannot wait forever for someone to contact me, if the universe presents opportunities then I will take them. But until then, perhaps I just need remember that I really am happy being myself, no more changing to become someone I’m not, I’ll walk my path, it meanders a little, if someone’s path crosses or happens to run parallel then great, but I’m not changing it this time…