Do I have to kiss you?

We crossed paths and Man Pokemon number 2 came up several times before I thought stop being so judgemental and meet him. So far Man Pokemon was leaving feeling a bit over it so I just couldn’t be bothered. Profile showed a dog and an Iron Maiden T-shirt, perhaps we could get on. So after a few messages from him that I ignored for a while I decided fine I’ll meet him.

He invited me to walk my dogs with his in a local park near his and then we could grab food in the dog friendly pub near by. I was not being mom for the night so though, fine what the hell, let’s meet this guy…

I’ll be honest, I just couldn’t be bothered but the dogs needed a walk so I thought at least I might find a dog walking buddy if nothing else.

I park up and start to walk to the main field, one of my dogs, the stupid Malamute puppy plucks a fledgling bird out of the air with little effort (think hulk smash) and won’t drop it like she normally does when she brings me birds. The last time it had been a good omen as she gently lay the fledgling starling she’d picked up at my feet and I nurse it back to health to release it. That same day I’d had and interview and got the job. Today was different, I really had to shout at her to drop the poor thing and it died uninjured but clearly shocked right there in my hand, I buried it and considered just going home. I am a Wiccan so natures signs are important to me, a dead bird is a very bad omen, a bird killed in front of you by your own dog… really bad omen. But felt guilty for letting someone down. So carried on slowly walking, distracted by everyone and anyone we met on the way.

I met him and he was really not for me, there was no glowing feeling. He instantly irritated me, perhaps I’m being a bitch but he just wouldn’t shut the hell up! Like non stop! I need to be able to process a conversation and there was no thinking space.

His dog hates my dogs, but he reassures me his dog will get used to them you know, for the future… what!?! Live with you? I only just met you?!? No!

We go to the pub, I’m hoping to get away with a quick drink and no food, but he insists and refuses to let me pay my way. I cannot be brought, I don’t need treating, I need level conversion and sexual attraction, neither of which exist here.

As he goes inside to order, a guy I kind of recognise and think is pretty hot walks past, looking at me and me at him. He grabs his push bike from a near by rack and comes over to say hi and reminds me he sees me in the lift at work with my biker gear and thinks I’m cool. I don’t know his name and don’t get chance to ask because Mr Clingy comes out right in queue eye balling him in a protective way… I’m not his to protect and this annoys me. The guy makes a quick getaway…. thanks!

Food comes out, we eat, he shuts up except between mouthfuls and licking his knife… gross. Food is okay, I really don’t care. We continue talking, every queue I take that it’s time to go he changes the subject. He’s a pretty okay person just not the guy for me. Eventually we agree it’s time to go, the dogs need to eat. He insists on walking me to my car… I really wish he wouldn’t, he lunged in for the hug and kiss and I turn my head. He laughs, he tries again getting my lips and I pull away, he tries one more time… I kind of let him but pull away again and tell him I’m shy. He laughs and says “our first kiss!” I think and our last. I get into my car and wait for him to walk as far away as possible. As I drive past he waves enthusiastically and I wave goodbye forever back.

We all know I’m still stuck on ‘the one’ but even without him in my mind constantly this guy would have no chance. Guess it’s time to go ghost or perhaps I’ll just have to be very blunt, both of which I hate. He’s already stalking me on Facebook, so I’m going to have to block him. This is the behaviour of someone who gets obsessed to the point of controlling and I can’t cope with that. This guy was essentially the same, probably very similar to the ‘Stand in’ too. That niceness with a twist of foreboding control underneath as their desperation to keep you strangles you tighter and tighter until you end up running away or destroyed because you feel you can’t. So here I am as the Iron Maiden song goes…. Run to the hills, run for your life…

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