So I met Man Pokemon last night for a drink and this time only a drink! We talked for hours… like the time flew! I’d been feeling a bit grumpy all day… A combination of Monday morning Blues, falling off a horse the day before at full gallop and knowing I had bootcamp planned for after work I was feeling a bit sorry for myself. So it really cheered me up.
The night went well, we talked a lot. I was beginning to feel like this could be a goer. But there were reservations inside my head that I really needed to resolve. He didn’t quite look like his profile pic… not massively different but different. Did he look a bit like the Sad Mechanic? Could I deal with that if he did? I wasn’t sure. There were things I was starting to feel were perhaps a little stretched around the truth. He’d said he never used Tinder or any other dating site. He’d not had many girlfriends. I wasn’t sure. Didn’t feel right. Swiping through Bumble when I got home later… there he was!
Perhaps I’m just not used to nice guys…. turns out he’d left the company I work for now a few years back. Perhaps it was worth some digging.
As he was walking me back to my car he casually mentioned he didn’t drive. I don’t know why this bothered me, it normally doesn’t really, but I started to wonder if this meant the potential to become a taxi driver yet again, been there done that, no thanks!
He’d already added me on Facebook that day… this screamed STALKER! To me!
The kiss… it was weird, didn’t feel all that good, like he didn’t know what he was doing… I felt disappointed. Perhaps it was just nerves. Kissing is important to me, I spent almost 15 years hardly ever being kissed. I didn’t want that ever again.
Perhaps I was being too picky. He’d asked me to text when I got home, kinda sweet, but what if this was the beginnings of controlling behaviour, remember how ‘nice’ the Stand In was? Yet control was his game too.
He kept up the texts, to be honest it felt like something wasn’t quite right. Too nice, perhaps I was being paranoid, hey there’s some baggage here. So I got a Tarot reading, saying it was a maybe but he’s been hurt before, it will be hard work.
Hmmmm…. Tarot for me rarely lies.
Next day in the office I ask a trusted colleague about him. The department he apparently worked in was right next to theirs at the time he worked there. Most of them had never heard of him. I show the profile pic to a response of ‘Oh god! No not him?!? Run, seriously bad news!’ Turns out he didn’t have the high ranking finance job he’d said but was front line customer contact, again the level of job isn’t an issue for me but the lie is.
Okay intuition you’ve served me well here… now how to end it, I’ll probably be honest, I’m not in the frame of mind for the commitment his behaviour seems to be asking for, I’m not ready yet to stop seeing what my options are. My heart isn’t fully healed from the disappointment of not being with ‘the one’ and therefore for me to try wouldn’t be fair on either of us.
There is no harm in dating around to make sure you’re happy, why should you settle when you know it’s not right? Some things are not meant to be, but the universe presents it to you so you can learn that for yourself.