Shit Hodor

So on a site called Inner Circle which was a really shit site by the way… review is nobody decent uses it… apart from me obvs… I met shit Hodor.

I at first saw his profile and thought… nah… but then over time and lack of people started to perhaps scrap the bottom of the barrel and thought fine what they hey. He had a similar job to me and I was starting to lecture myself about not judging a book by its cover.

So I swiped. We had a few text conversations that got racier, okay turns out ex rock musician, likes motorbikes and a geek like me… this could work. Also used to play rugby… my little head thinking this guy should be fit.

So after a few conversations over text I meet him for a drink. Okay so he’s a little out of shape but built like a fucking man mountain. We get talking and have a lot to talk about, we do have a lot in common working in similar areas of the IT world. We talk a bit about bikes, he has a landrover… just like me… landrovers are important to me, I love them!

We kiss, it’s nice, we go back to mine, to… “watch Game of Thrones” but we don’t actually turn on the TV… well I’m glad I was on top… I would not be alive to tell the tale, this man was no word of a lie very large set, okay he was out of shape but he would be massive even if he went on a ketogenic diet and lost every ounce of body fat. Shame it’s never directly proportionate… if you get what I mean…

At least I couldn’t break this guy. It was apparent he’d not really been looking after himself, which was a shame, there were things that kind turned me off. He had large patches of very angry psoriasis which I know is harmless but I was scared to touch. In his size he reminded a bit of Hodor… except with his IT Architecture background imagined him shouting TOGAF instead… like a shit Hodor.

We watch Game of Thrones and hug a bit, he’s pretty good at that!

I’m meant to meet him the next day but he cancels, I’ll be honest, I’m a bit relieved, he was nice and we had similar personalities but… well I guess I felt I could do a bit better. Perhaps I’ve been a little spoilt, some of the guys I’ve seen have been super hot… okay lacking in personality or social skill or common decency but the sex was good. I have a funny feeling I’m not in the frame of mind for the sensible relationship stuff… although, I’m seeing Mr Elite tomorrow… let’s hope he’s been working out… don’t want to break him again…

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