During my slightly mad phase of taking home boys who were way too young for me I accidentally, well kinda, I mean I’d seen him round the office and had no idea who he was but thought he was cute, took a guy unsuitably young for me home after a night out with the lads from my team.
We’d ended up in a local metal club, probably my idea, no definitely my idea and were all having a laugh moshing to Metallica probably looking like absolute dicks but it was fun and we were out to party. Can’t remember why…
Anyhow, after a lot of vodka I somehow ended up kissing the cute guy from the office who I’d noticed hanging around my floor always looking a little bit like a rabbit in the headlights, we were on a different floor to his team at that point so coming to our floor meant you needed something fixing but the team he was generally asking for help from were always busy so rabbit in the headlights boy always looked a little bit nervous like he might run if there was a loud noise or sudden movement.
Anyhow the kiss on the dance floor come mosh “pit” (not really a pit, more of a crevice) became a fumble and we left for him to have a cigarette but didn’t go back in and were in a taxi back to mine. Yes I dragged this unwitting boy back to my lair. We got out a bit of a walk away, can’t remember why the taxi couldn’t get to my place and chatted as we walked. Turned out he was younger than I thought he was, but was within my half you age plus 7 bracket… just… and well I guessed it was a little bit late to reassess the situation really… he was a way from home and it was my fault he was there, at least a little bit anyway.
We get to mine, discover he’s petrified of dogs, my dogs love him, he’s not fussed. Oh dear… thanks dogs… they can smell fear a mile off, it’s not that they attack in these moments more that they will try change the mind of the person who’s scared of dogs by not leaving them alone until the person in question agrees that dogs are awesome and that they are also the best dogs ever.
He pops upstairs to the bathroom, comes back down and we get busy on the sofa. I go down on him and see blood. I’m a little bit shocked and ask is there a reason he’s bleeding. He looks horrified and sorta says no, no need to worry, trying to cover the matter up, I check with him he’s okay to play… don’t wanna be getting anything like I dunno, you can imagine… well you just don’t know.
I pop to the bathroom and see my lady razor freshly used on the side with fresh blood and realise what happened. The poor guy was clearly nervous and had decided to tidy himself up but cut himself in the process. Unfortunate, this put me in mind of the inbetweeners episode where the guy sticks a wig down his pants after the Immac joke and it all goes tits up. It’s amazing what a nervous guy will do to make himself “acceptable” but then we girls do that shit too I guess, it just makes me laugh. We’re all human after all.
We went to my bed and messed about for a while, probably woke up the neighbours, no we did wake up the neighbours… had to change the sheets… finding clean sheets took forever, I’m not that great at adulting.
Next morning he went back home. Spent months in the office me wondering whether he was regretting it all, then decided not to give a fuck. Months later he finally starts messaging me. We have another crazy night, this time I had to pick him up from the train station lol!
He was pretty cute, almost relationship material but probably a bit young for me. Who knows, he seems to come and go from my life now and then. Although I don’t think he’s really what I’m after.