I’ve read a lot about twin flames, soul mates, life lessons and learning experiences that eventually lead you to your final place of happiness. It’s no secret as you can read from my previous posts that I have a belief in these things and life in the hope of reaching that point in my life. Perhaps that’s what being Tinderella is all about, the search for the one who makes you complete.
Whether it’s that metaphorical piece of red yarn that ties you both together even when you’re apart, the longing for the soul that makes yours feel full or just that kindred spirit feeling that the physical experiences of life cannot replace. We all feel it somewhere, somehow regardless of which system of belief or non-belief we choose to follow.
This is where I start to wonder what it’s all about, why am I here and what am I doing? So far there is only one person I’ve met who seems to be able to prove that connection is true for me. It’s no surprise that I miss him even though I try not to.
My 15 years with my ex proved to me and him that the unhappiness of trying to make it work caused by just settling was exhausting so we parted ways. The unhappiness manifested in both of us as we grew apart day by day, contempt growing in the place of that initial feeling of love that wasn’t really love at all, just the hope of someone who could take away the pain of not fitting in, being lonely in life.
I think I’ve reached the conclusion date after date that there is no point investing the time if you don’t feel that connection instantly. There are so many guys who tick all the right boxes but I just can’t feel anything for them, it’s as if the universe is telling me this isn’t my path, you deserve the twin flame you were born so many times to meet.
Perhaps it’s just the heartbreak of hopes dashed that leaves me unable to let anyone in for real, you can go through the motions, have a good time but it’s empty because your soul knows there’s something planned for you and this isn’t it. So I’m filling my time with something more mine, writing, getting fit, being creative and of course being the best mum that I can be.
It goes deeper than physical attraction, you can feel this person’s emotions, they don’t even have to contact you for you to know. Many people who’ve experienced this say the initial meeting creates a flushing of your negative energy that causes ructions and makes one or the other run. Yes I’ve been there time and time again with ‘the one’ every past hurt whether in this life or the thousands before come rushing to the surface in order to be cleared ready for the fresh newness of reconnecting.
It’s a funny thing, it’s mind blowing but you just know and if you don’t know how to handle it, has the potential to open wounds you never knew you had before they opened up again. Here’s the thing, in my belief in twin flames and soul mates I will have know this person before, and will have suffered or caused hurt with this soul before, when you meet, those memories come back even if you’re not aware of what it is, the feelings created by them do.
There is one person I’ve felt this connection with. And the strange thing is I do sometimes get feelings that he’s experiencing when we’ve not talked in a while. I know when something’s up, when he’s depressed, when he’s happy. I can have a memory that’s more than a memory of holding his hand, like the physical contact still exists even though it’s not there right now. It’s not something I get with anyone else I’ve met. You have a group of soul mates, in my group one is my late grandfather, he was my father once before so I’m told, we were very close when he was alive and have been close since his death, he is always here and he lets me know when I’m feeling distressed to comfort me that I’m not alone, I often smell his cigar smoke in these moments, even though no one smokes in my house. He looks over me and my daughter. My daughter used to tell us about the nice man in the corner of her room. A few years later looking at a family photo my dad had posted on social media, my daughter pointed to my grandfather without any prompting and said, that’s the man, he’s always there smiling at me. Because I’ve never encouraged my daughter to close her mind to the unknown or be scared of it she still does see him, I only sense him when he’s here.
My daughter is also in my soul mate group, we could have been sisters or mother and daughter the other way round many many times. This is how I know her thoughts when I open up and listen.
The twin flame, the one, is a painful loss that I know I can’t replace but know will also be back at some point. My only task is to remove negativity from my life, so that all he will see is the joy that being back will give. These parting times are only here to test your bonds when it’s the right person. Date people, have friends, do everything you would want to do with your life, fill it up with fun because that’s how they know it’s time to come back and the running and chasing phenomenon ends and true happiness begins. The hard part is not waiting, the more you wait, the more you clear your life for their return, the harder it is for them to see a reason to come back. No one wants emptiness. It may be this life or the next, who knows, the universe is the judge of when that can be.