Work situation today… okay my esteemed colleague, a male is struggling with my errr… let’s call it energy. We are poles apart in personality, I am confident (often faking that bit still), vibrant and generally follow a “let’s get this shit fixed” approach, he like rules, meetings, discussions and for god’s sake do not change anything!!!
We actually get on we’ll as people, he’s pretty sweet, very prim and proper, well mannered in general, I swear like a sailor and take no prisoners. But we sing database lyrics to Disney tunes and he seems enthused by my madness. So we get on.
Today however after a confrontation from him about a decision I’d made to publish data documentation to our developers on an intranet site, I snapped. I’m on week 7 in a new company and so far have learnt, after his 4 year tenure, my counterpart has not really implemented all that much. His documents are ignored, people just do what they want. I’m on week 7, me and the developers get on (boobs might be helping my case here) and they actually like that I listen to them and guess what…. we all dream the same dreams… we all want to make our lives easy so we spend less time working out how we fucked it up last time when we’re fixing it this time.
The trouble with this guy is that when he sees me doing something that’s in my remit, he panics, he doesn’t know what it is and feels like I’m doing something that makes him look bad. And then the machine gun like questioning begins. The why, the constant need for me to justify an idea, he needs to discuss and agree everything I do, disputes the fact this is my area of speciality and he has his own. When I justify my actions his response “oh that’s okay we’re aligned” or “oh we’re on the same page” etc. This guy likes to waste hours in a meeting arguing about things we can’t see when a picture will tell you a thousand words and save you some hours of frustration.
Today I snapped. My reply after the 20th question and the reassurance (to himself) that we’re aligned, “Yes I know we’re aligned, seriously stop saying that after everything I do, this is an enhancement of what we have already!” And yes I sounded exasperated. Much to the entertainment of the surrounding developers. My Hadoop project, it’s mine and it’s exiting, he just can’t keep his damned nose out. So I cut him out of my discussions because quite frankly he just confuses everyone and wastes time. My response… you’ve got a million other things to do, I got this shit handled, don’t worry and just trust me.
I call this “only child syndrome”, little sister just emerged and she needs her own domain… she’s your equal and you’re gonna have to share your toys. You can either fight for daddy’s attention and I’ll always win because I’m damned cute… or play my game and we’ll share the toys and daddy will give us both the attention we need… guess it’s his choice… but he’s learning… little sister isn’t gonna be second best, the competition will be healthy, but piss her off and she’ll Game of Thrones the shit out of it! See I’m emerging as a combination of Sansa Stark with my red hair and “I’ve had enough of this shit” attitude, Daenerys with my “mother of dragons I’ll free your slaves and they’ll join my army” management style and my Aria Stark style “you’ll regret this when I’m feeding you a pie made with your first born sons” before killing you. There’s always gonna be a bit of Red Witch and some Cersi thrown in for fun! Perhaps next time I’ll just refer to him as “Little Finger” or continue with my retorts of “You know nothing John Snow”. Either that or exclaim winter is coming and send him off to defend the wall….